A Month ago I switched on my notebook and it crashed. It asked me whether I would like to restore it to its former position. I tried a number of times but it could not restore itself to its old-self.On the 31 December 2017 I had a very bad fall. I recall having a choice that day. I wanted to stay under the covers with my coffee and book as I listened to the patter of light rain on the roof. I was torn. I felt I wanted to be there for a loved one who just lost someone very close to him. He just lost his wife. His children had their plans and I did not want him to be alone. I recall staring at the sandal with the heel and the flat comfy sandal. Something inside of me felt to wear the flat sandal but the heel matched my outfit. I did not listen to that voice and chose the high heel. My heel became stuck on some piping on the outside garden steps and I fell injuring both ankles. They said it will take a year (2018) to heal. Still as January 2018 commenced I stepped on it and ran after people and situations that was part of an old nature, an old character that was not serving me.I had one disappointment after the other due to making the same choices but expecting different results in the first month of the year in 2018 and I crashed. Something deep inside of me crashed. It crashed wide open for me to SEE the gunk that had to be dealt with.For the latter of my 2018 the word New popped up in my head and the verse “You can not pour new wine into old skin”. To top it all a beautiful song, by popular Worship Band Hillsong, called New Wine played everywhere I went. Almost weekly, daily I heard a word on New, New Wine…and I continued seeing the verse over and over “If you pour old wine into new skin – the new skin will burst.”Yesterday I read “you can patch an old jacket with a new patch but you don’t cut up your new jacket and put an old patch onto a new jacket.”It made me think of that day as I stood with my notebook in my hand.All it was now is an empty shell. It looked new. I saw it as an opportunity to do new things with it. New Ideas. New Ventures perhaps. Maybe spend less time on electronics. All of a sudden I no longer felt dismayed that I did not back up all the info and that I have lost a lot of old information. Why hold on to the old. Why hold on to the pain of those old memories. Maybe my PC will be restored with a new memory. Maybe it is time for that Mac book I desire.What my fall and my period in the wilderness/2018 taught me was that God sometimes have to refine US. OUR heart. It hurts. It\’s painful to look at your own character and see whether there are any old pains, old thoughts, old wounds due to conditioning that cause same life patterns that needs to be deleted. That which is not from God. Lies you started believing about yourself. Whatever others did, said: Let it go. Just let it go and replace it with the knowledge and belief of who you truly are. As your behavior was shaped by those old belief systems. Maybe those buggers were wrong that hurt you – Forgive others and most of all stop condemning yourself for silly things you too did and said in the past. Don’t judge. Bless them. Forgive yourself and let go of the past. “The former things are gone.” Dust it off and walk towards the new.For the first time I can see my petite beautiful ankles again – the swelling is down and the pain is less. My heart – it feel more and more new. Time to pour new beautiful things into it..For Me.Ell.#SteppingOutWithEll
"A Month ago I switched on my notebook and it crashed. It asked me whether I would like to restore it to its former position. I tried a number of times but it could not restore itself to its old self."
