It was with irony that I noted that this pic of me below was taken on the day of Nelson Mandela’s 100th Birthday anniversary. Yesterday whilst digging up a pic of him the infamous quote came to mind: “As I walked out of the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I did not leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I will still be in prison.”![\"IMG_20180722_183445_902\"](\"https://becomingthechangeza.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/img_20180722_183445_902.jpg\")
“A picture says a thousand words.”I recall standing at that door which leads to an open space for artists and an architectural firm. It was a cold but sunny winter’s day. I was in a new city with a lot of hustle and bustle outside as it was a public holiday in South Africa (ZA). I decided to step out – not only physically into the warmth that I was seeking from the winter sun – but also step out of my mind and the thoughts that were holding me captive in my own shadow. The feelings of fear and angst that go alongside complete loss, anxiety, and knowing you have to start all over again were running amok in my mind.Inside I still felt a bit broken. A bit sad. A bit scared. A bit vulnerable. On looking at the pic I realise what I was staring at – the broken run-down building was depicting what I was feeling on the inside. Even the lighting around me in the photograph is shaded like my thoughts. I realized how our inner thoughts so clearly reflect our outer world back to us. “As a man thinketh so is he.” But I knew deep down inside..to continue looking at the light.I marveled at how new modern apartments and shops were erected from the old warehouses and buildings but also how the old, broken, and vandalized were still in clear view – in all their vulnerability. It seem it could fall apart and was ready to be demolished. Beaten but there it was still standing. A bit like..me.And it was at that moment that I realized how my thoughts were keeping me captive and I made a decision – it is time for me to step out. Step out in complete faith and courage. All changed and I knew where my strength was coming from – Eleanor“She Changed… her Mind.”
“A picture says a thousand words.”I recall standing at that door which leads to an open space for artists and an architectural firm. It was a cold but sunny winter’s day. I was in a new city with a lot of hustle and bustle outside as it was a public holiday in South Africa (ZA). I decided to step out – not only physically into the warmth that I was seeking from the winter sun – but also step out of my mind and the thoughts that were holding me captive in my own shadow. The feelings of fear and angst that go alongside complete loss, anxiety, and knowing you have to start all over again were running amok in my mind.Inside I still felt a bit broken. A bit sad. A bit scared. A bit vulnerable. On looking at the pic I realise what I was staring at – the broken run-down building was depicting what I was feeling on the inside. Even the lighting around me in the photograph is shaded like my thoughts. I realized how our inner thoughts so clearly reflect our outer world back to us. “As a man thinketh so is he.” But I knew deep down inside..to continue looking at the light.I marveled at how new modern apartments and shops were erected from the old warehouses and buildings but also how the old, broken, and vandalized were still in clear view – in all their vulnerability. It seem it could fall apart and was ready to be demolished. Beaten but there it was still standing. A bit like..me.And it was at that moment that I realized how my thoughts were keeping me captive and I made a decision – it is time for me to step out. Step out in complete faith and courage. All changed and I knew where my strength was coming from – Eleanor“She Changed… her Mind.”
