Uncertainty

Today is Workers Day and we in South Africa have moved to Level 4. The first thing I heard this morning was:  “Everyone is running”. My house –mate’s partner just came in from a good run. I sensed the camaraderie in his voice and I quietly hoped people would adhere to the law regarding social distancing.It is a bit overcast but I can see the sun in the horizon as I look out of the window seeing the runners hitting the pavement.There have been many questions around what we can and can’t do now that we are on level 4. Once again there is that feeling of uncertainty. Seeing the runners through the window this morning brought back a little bit of normality and I know that sense of togetherness when you are a runner passing a fellow runner on the road.I have been feeling a bit like a hamster on a wheel since last year April. I recall arriving from Johannesburg and remember hearing someone saying you landed “running”.  I immediately started media training and after almost a decade of being self employed decided to get back into the job sector on a full time basis. Days sometimes started at 4 in the morning with a quick coffee as I ran out of the door. Coming in before midnight meant a shower, a cup of tea or a late night snack with a book or scrolling down my phone aimlessly and dozing off. This is so not like me.The pause was needed. I was tired of all the running around.  Level 5 of lockdown for me was a blessing in disguise and much needed as I needed rest and I needed to take a bit of stock.  As with entering level 5 a month ago I am feeling uncertain. Do I go back to work as I have the option to work from home. Last night before retiring I knew this will be the route to take. I have to do this not only for my health with this looming virus but also for my own mental well-being.I could hear the birds chirping and the sky once again seem brighter than usual. I remember the Word this morning as I walked through the suburban village: Have faith through good and bad. We are still going through uncertain times but I felt the compassion and tears welling up in my eyes as I realized I am making a sandwich for someone who might only have this as their meal for today. As I handed the bag of sarmies over to one of the volunteers I saw the connectedness and compassion  in humanity – that blossomed from this lockdown. All of a sudden I felt my own concerns and uncertainties melting away. Have Faith through good and bad He is holding your hand. Maybe Level 4 means surrendering and trusting…and less running around.#girlockedownincapetown #day36