Whenever I truly did not know what to do I would go visit my Dad and we would “talk it out”. He never really gave me an answer but allowed me to wrestle out my thoughts in conversation with him to gain not only clarity but also a deeper understanding of where my thought pattern might be coming from.
Was it from God – my sense of knowingness what I used to call my gut call or my intuition and he would encourage me to listen to the Holy Spirit within me or was it lies that I started believing through my own perceptions based on fear or stinking thinking?
Many a time I would fight the hardest and loudest for the lie – the perception as I was so clouded in judgment of the person or the situation. He would be quiet and it used to irk me that he would not side with me. That was when he had “that quiet” that only people who truly knew him would understand.
I would leave his house, armed with ginger cookies and other lovely goodies after the lovely Sunday lunch and tea I prepped for us, pondering over his words. Once home and settled in for the evening I would call a friend.
Now on my growth journey I stop and ask myself before I want to call a friend – are you giving preference to God’s Word and voice as much as you give to those of others? Am I seeking Him as much as I seek the counsel and guidance of others?
It took an inability to go on a live call to decide to write this today as it has been on my mind for the past two weeks. I am on the verge to make a new decision and with new decisions and actions comes new thinking. I had to ask myself what I believe about the narrative I created in my head. Instead of focusing on the situation I had to ensure my belief about the situation is in alignment with the Word, with Truth, with Love, and not necessarily with my stinking thinking.
It is when I have the peace that surpasses all understanding that I normally make my best decisions. If I do not have that – I wait. I wait on God. I don’t force things that are beyond my control anymore. I don’t believe I have missed the boat either. What is meant for me is meant for me. This I know. It might not come in the form I expected or at the time I expected but it is always what is good for me and it comes when I am ready to receive it. When I force things I always in hindsight realize I should have listened. Obeyed.
My Dad, after that moment of silence, always reminded me that His ways are not always our ways.
As we surrender a bit more things unfold exactly as it is meant to be.
#surrendering #trusting #steppingoutinfaith
