Something prompted me to check the privacy settings on my Facebook page. It showed me that I blocked 18 people and one name stood out. I could not remember blocking him. But there he was smiling holding on to a lovely woman smiling. They looked happy. For one fleeting moment I felt a tinge of sadness- “why did he not choose me”..and then I remembered.
For a moment. I felt that spirit of rejection. That spirit of not being good enough wanting to rear its head. For a split second I felt a slight pang around my heart…and then I remembered.. “being adored today and let down tomorrow – suddenly, unexpectedly..more than once. That fleeting moment of not being “chosen” was replaced by a new narrative…That is not the way I like to be treated or deserve to be treated. It was changed by – “I deserve better”.
It immediately changed the landscape in my thinking of feeling sorry for myself, rejected to being victorious. Of almost going to bed with a spirit of heaviness to “I am grateful for knowing who I am and that I am chosen as Gods Beloved Child and loved”. Well loved and the fact that maybe he did not know how to love (then) me and that it is okay. Maybe he and I needed to grow. As long as I remember to love myself enough to not allow myself to be disrespected again.
It changed the landscape of my thinking to being grateful for the day that passed and looking forward to showing up in my own life and the world with Gods Grace today.
It changed the mental landscape to not believing in the lie and living in truth. To not react to old trauma triggering but to respond with love and in love to whom it matters the most: Me.
I knew at that moment by not reacting to the “old story” that I can flip the script and embrace and enjoy showing up in my New Story with love.
Here is to stepping out in truth. No more lies.
#steppingoutinfaith
